Figuring out my life? Perhaps.

So basically, the other night I stayed up a little late. Chatted with a friend of mine, trying to figure out my life. Like, if I want to go away to school next year. If I would like to apply for that job, if I'd be "right" for it or if I should apply for another job.

I like feeling like this where I feel like I'm making progress in moving forward in my life, with work/school. I really hope that those plans to go through, I mean going to school with a friend & cousin I'd have a support system there with me. I'd have people around, who do party but not often like, we'd be able to actually concentrate on school and everything without having a 24/7 party going on which is something that I would really rather not have. I've done the whole, "party" thing and failed my ass in school. I dont want that again, I've failed because I didnt try hard enough, I hope that this time. I actually pass because I like the course, and because I'm with like-minded people, working towards the same goal. Graduation + Diploma. I still have a few months to think things over, school-wise. Work wise, I gotta get my ass in gear! I'm still on vacation for now though, so I have about a week to apply for those jobs. Growing up, who said it had to be fun?

To apply, or not to apply. That is the question

This one is just cause I'm on a roll. Haha

So, apparently my stepbrothers have been telling my mom that I should apply at where they're working. It pays well, around $20 an hour, I'd be working some swing-shifts, I mean its not exactly what I want to be doing its working with younger teens to mid-teens in a youth home. They like it, but I've seen my stepbro stressed to the max from that job. I do need a job, and it pays real well I know I'd get the job seeing as how they got the job (I have both stepbrothers working there, plus a family friend) without any previous expierence in that field. I'm thinking I should take it, but I'm scared that I'll bail out on it and hate it and ruin any chance I have (had) on wanting to go to school, or even work with youth ever again. Its a little scary, theres a few other places hiring that I might be intrested in, so I think I might send in my resume at those places and then when I get back home apply at the youth home. I'm not sure that I'll love it, but even as scared as I am to take the job, and hate it. Wouldnt it be better if I found out now, instead of when I shell out money for a course that I'm going to end up hating? Maybe I'll actually like the job, who knows. I think I'm gunna talk to both of them about it, see what the ups are like, and what the downs are like as well. Like, the stress levels and whatnot. Just not so sure yet, I need more information before I can make a decision, if I want to apply for that job or not.